Sunday, October 26, 2008

Anything your pc can do my mac can do better?

Ever notice how most Mac users are skinny? It's because of all the calories they burn because they can't shut the fuck up about how great their Macs are. What is it about Apple that makes its users unable to shut their mouths? Everywhere I go, there's another asshole with a Mac preaching about how much better Macs are than PCs. They regurgitate lines directly from Apple's marketing campaign, like "it just works." I have the following rebuttals to this argument:

1. If everything on a Mac just works, then why does a website called "Mac fix it" exist, assholes? Here are a few choice topics on macfixitforums.com:

-Login window stuck!
-lower caSe "S" key not working!!
-Menu bar keeps flashing
-I can't drag and drop!

Waaaah, boo hoo! I can't drag and drop! Dumbass. Looks like your Macs aren't perfect after all, which leads me to my second point:

2. Fuck you.

I don't know why Mac users get so defensive when you call them idiots. I mean, Apple is a company that has built its entire user base around the fact that its users can't do simple things like turn their computers on. Hell, most Mac users can't even talk without using their hands, which ranks their intelligence somewhere between a simian and hog shit:

Stupid user base aside, I will never own a Mac. It's not so much that I'm a PC loyalist. I'm not. It's that I'm not stylish enough to own one. Most iPod commercials feature guys with long hair, chicks roller skating, and guys wearing fedoras. I have dandruff, and I buy most of my jeans from a grocery store. I feel like in order to have a Mac, I need to be:

  •  An artist.
  •  In a band.
  •  Unemployed (see above).


  • whatever =)))

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